Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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