My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
