Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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