Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
