508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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