I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
