Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
