Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
