you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
