well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
