thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
