he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize