Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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