She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
