Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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