She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
