You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
