Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My vagina is officially offended.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
