you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
These tits shall not be calmed
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
