yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
