What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
