he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
try to milk me bitch
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
