That's intense
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
