tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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