sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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