I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
