You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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