also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
