I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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