How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
