ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
