Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
