But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
