Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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