people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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