my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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