I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
