Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
