We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
