It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
