pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
two words...techno handjob
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
