Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My vagina is very pro this idea
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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