I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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