Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
