dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
