I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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