When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
