mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
