I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
