My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
