I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Walk of Shame today included voting.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
