I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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