he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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