So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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