She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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