At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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