she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
