I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
