Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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