Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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